SIGN UP for an Insider's Guide to all my books!

Manic Monday: Soft kitty, warm kitty…bad kitty!

My parent's cat, Andy, a.k.a as Ninja Cat.

Pretty, isn’t he? No, he’s not a Bengal, although he’s marked similar and has a lot of the same traits, as did his mother. He and his brother, Fat Amos, were rescued as tiny babies by my mom and Grace after the kitten’s mother was killed on the highway. Andy (yep, their names are Amos and Andy) is skittish around other people, but also an extreme lover of attention.

And a total asshole.

This past weekend, Grace was staying at Mom and Dad’s, and Rob and I were going to celebrate Valentine’s Day on Saturday with a fancy dinner at Vino’s Italian Restaurant and some PRIVACY, if you know what I mean. The jerk in the picture above ruined all that. I called Mom Saturday morning to check in, and Andy was missing. They hadn’t seen him since Friday around lunch. The cleaning ladies had been in (makes my parents sound much fancier than they are, trust me) and as usual, Andy ran for the hills. He never comes out while they’re around, and my parents assumed he was hiding. Except nearly twelve hours later, he hadn’t shown up, not even for his four a.m. lovefest with Dad.

Even Fat Amos, his own brother, was dumbfounded.

Fat Amos searching.

It was hard to imagine, but the fear was he’d somehow slipped past one of the gals when they had the door open, carrying stuff in and out. Totally unlike him, but where the hell was he?

My parents were both sick and upset, and Mom wanted me to come help look. They’d searched everywhere but outside. Please? So, one romantic weekend out the window and an hour and forty-five minute drive later, I arrived to save the day. I was sure he’d gotten outside in the freezing cold. So I searched. Searched the big machine shed where the combine is. The farm cats (who gladly eat off the porch but won’t let you touch them) watched me like I was nuts. Searched all around the house and down by the old barn, where some more cats hangout. Froze my butt off and got wind burn on my cheeks.

Came inside, scoured the house. The attic, the basement, all the closets and hidey holes. Mom and Dad had already done this, but they were sure he was in the house (I disagreed) and wanted me to look, too.

Four hours later, three trips outside and God knows how many times through the house, I gave up. I was sick to my stomach, as were my parents. Andy was a sweet, spoiled house cat without any front claws. There were outside cats, raccoons, and bobcats nearby. And it was so damned cold. I didn’t want to stop looking. All I could think was that he was outside freezing and I needed to find him.

I walked into the kitchen and looked out the back door at the deck in the futile hope he’d found his way to the house. Then I heard it: a loud, pathetic meow. My heart stopped. I whipped around, hoping like hell it wasn’t Fat Amos, even though he sounds like a kitten when he meows. It wasn’t, and it was close. But it couldn’t be. Behind me were the washer, dryer, and tall deep freeze. I’d checked behind the washer and dryer, and even left a path for him to get out. And there was simply no room for him behind that freezer. AND…we’d all been back there numerous times and called his name, and he didn’t say a damned word.

I called Dad, and of course Grace had her nose at my hip, and I wedged the freezer away from the wall. I peeked behind, and sure enough, a pair of green eyes staring back at me. Andy! I watched at he somehow twisted himself and slid out FROM UNDERNEATH the freezer (I still swear there was no room). I maneuvered the heavy-ass thing some more, and voila! He was free.

He ran for the potty, and we all sighed with relief. I was emotionally exhausted. So were my parents. We can only assume he’d made a run for it either when the cleaning ladies were close or when Grace came stomping in the back door, and got stuck. I could have felt bad for him, except we’d all called him 957 times, and the little shit couldn’t be bothered to answer.

The king returned to his throne.

So instead of my romantic Valentine’s weekend, I wound up with wind burn, mental exhaustion, and one grateful kitty. He even honored me with his presence several times throughout the night on Saturday. I suppose I got my lovin’ after all, even if it was in the form of a cold nose and loud, purring motor.

How was your weekend? Do you have any special V-Day plans? At this point, I’m thinking zombies and horror movies sound like a plan!

38 comments on… “Manic Monday: Soft kitty, warm kitty…bad kitty!”

  1. funny, bad, bad, kitty! 🙂 Thanks heavens he wasn’t IN the freezer, which is what I thought at first when you said you heard the mew.

    My V-day plans include taking my old fart dog to the vet to get his teeth cleaned. He needs to be there at 8:30 and we’ll pick him up around 3. Don’t have a clue what’s going to happen the rest of the day. Maybe a romantic walk on the beach and pop a bottle of bubbly.

  2. OMG, that would have been awful. I’d looked in the dryer, but never thought to look inside the freezer.

    Oh, the teeth cleaning. That’s always fun. Not. Our dogs always have to be put under, which just adds to the cost. A walk on the beach? That sounds wonderful. It’s snowing here. Boo.

  3. He is too pretty to be mad at – really! But what drama! I can related.

    We had one cat jump above the sink to the openb sophet way up by the ceiling which also had a partial wall up to hide it. It was such a deep shelve, we couldn’t see him and we went crazy looking for him. He finally jumped down on us at the sink and scared the bejeezus out of us!

    • He is pretty, and that picture doesn’t do him justice. He’s got beautiful markings on his front legs.

      LOL at your story. I love cats for their independence and personalities, but that also makes them total jerks!

  4. Oh, cats, they are a piece of work. Mine is such a pain. She’s sweet when she wants to be, but that’s only about 1% of the time. The rest of the time she’s a terror!

    • That’s part of what I love about them, too. My cat was a holy terror as well, especially when she was a kitten. I miss the chaos, lol.

  5. Jessica R. Patch

    Just another reason I don’t like cats! LOL We went and saw Safehouse with Denzel and Ryan Reynolds on Sunday afternoon. It was awesome! (If you like that sort of movie.) But I have no clue what we’ll do on actual V day!

    • I love cats! I had to rehome mine a few years ago because I just couldn’t handle the allergies anymore. Was so damned hard. And nice! I’ve been wanting to see that. Denzel as a bad guy looks great.


  6. Speaking of cats, I have one that I wish would run away. That sounds mean, but my cat is the Queen of all that is evil! I wake up and her nose is 1/4 inch away from mine, watching me, no…willing an evil curse upon me!

    Anyway, we went to see “The Woman in Black” and a few times I jumped out of my skin. Then we ate at Macaroni Grill. Mmmmm, spaghetti and meatballs. Great weekend!

    I thought you were going to reveal that you found Andy INSIDE the washer or dryer. hehe

    • LMAO. I had a cat like that when I was younger, and she was mean. She’d attack me in bed if I accidentally nudged her, but the worst was waking up with a full bladder and finding her on your chest, ears laid flat back, just daring you to move her. She nailed me several times.

      I totally want to see that! I’m jealous at my friend because she went with her hubby to see it this weekend. I need to go soon.

      And thankfully, no!

  7. Cats…they’ll go anywhere, won’t they? I would have panicked too, Stacy. My kitties aren’t allowed outside and anytime I have house guests I remind them over and over again. To the point to where I drive my house guests crazy.

    We did our Valentine celebration this weekend since my birthday falls two days after the big Heart Day…we did a cheese, chocolate, and bubbles tasting Thursday night in Downtown Dallas. I don’t like cheese, but I LOVE chocolate and champagne. It was probably the most fun we’ve had for a Valentine’s day in a long time. We’re usually not very romantic….

    So happy you found the Kittie!

    • Yes, they will. And these two are especially nosy. Fat Amos is known for dragging crap up from the basement, and he’ll make off with anything shiny that’s left lying around.

      Sounds like a totally romantic weekend for you! I’m totally jealous, lol. We aren’t very romantic, either. The little Italian place is about our most romantic excursion.


  8. Dogs will actually do the same thing and just be quiet when they’re trapped. I once had an 8 mo Sheltie puppy fall into a hole a couple of feet deep under the trailer. I was calling and searching, and tracked her footprints in the snow to see if she’d gone off the property. Feared an owl had taken her (yes, they can) but finally late that evening I heard a very small, protesting whine. Had to use a flashlight and wiggle on my belly to find her–she’d fallen in the low spot left from the test drilling for permafrost before we set up the trailer that I hadn’t even realized was there.

    • OMG. Poor puppy! I can’t imagine them being quiet. My dogs are never quiet, lol. I just couldn’t believe he was silent so long. Thank goodness you found her!

  9. Have had the occasional kitty closet lockup. Had one cat that did get mauled by a coyote – and lived to tell the tale. Came home, hurting, leaves and dirt matted into him – I thought he’d been hit by a car, but when the vet cleaned him up , they found puncture wounds in his flack, and separated ribs, like he’d been shaken, the way that predatory animals do. Spunky continued to be sweet as pie with us, his people, but he had a real attitude about dogs from that time forward. Had an acquaintance that brought over her purse dog (without asking) and Spunky almost took him out.

    Sorry that silly kitty spoiled your romantic night out – but he did give you a blog post out of it!

    • Oh wow, really? That’s one tough and lucky kitty. Poor thing! I knew someone whose Cornish Rex got mauled by two pit bulls last summer. They shook him like a rag dool. Can’t blame him for hating dogs.

      LOL, thanks. Gotta thank him for that!

  10. We have a hider cat too. More than once, we have looked everywhere for Shadow and can’t find him. In our case, luckily I suppose, he is too big of a scaredy cat to go outside. So we know he’s inside somewhere and eventually will come up or yelp. Bless your hearts! Hope you can find another night for a romantic dinner!

    • Andy has done this once before, but we found him in a few hours. This time it was around 24, and as far as we could tell, he didn’t come out to eat or use the potty. We couldn’t believe he would go outside either, but we’d turned the house upside down. I’ll never figure out how he got under that freezer.

      LOL, thanks. Me, too!

  11. Lol, that sucks. But I’m really happy the kitty was found safe and sound. 🙂 I’m working V-Day at a night class. Whoop. There will be a quiz. Happy Love, students!

    • Me, too. Would have been simply awful if he’d been lost outside. Oh wow, well, take it easy on your students, will ya? After all, Valentines is such an important holiday. LOL.

    • Yes, they are. Their independence is what I love about them, but it also makes them troublemakers. Congrats on your diet! I hope it was a success. Thanks for commenting:)

  12. OMG seriously – I’d have shot him! LOL!! Can you imagine. Amazing how cats can find their ways into the most insane places and WHY didn’t he just meow!!! Man. Talk about a downer on the weekend of luv. LOL!!!

    • I wanted to shake him, that’s for sure. I still haven’t figured out how in the hell in managed to squeeze in there. Yes, it was. But at least it had a happy ending:)

  13. Oh my! I am so glad you found him! Cat’s are infuriating creatures. It would have been nice if the cat would have meowed once during one of the zillions of times you called him. I bet you were relieved. Not exactly a romantic way to spend Valentine’s Day, but that is how things go.


    • Yes, they are. I love their independence but it can be infuriating as well. I was very relieved. If I’d had to leave their house knowing he was lost somewhere after all that I would have been sick.


  14. Yet another reason why I’ll never own a cat. For my Valentine’s Day, hubby and I just went to a great Mexican place where I did NOT eat the entire basket of chips for once. Just good food and good talk.

    • I love cats, but they are a total pain. Good for you! We ate Mexican last night too, and I was not so disciplined with the chips. They’re crack, I swear.

  15. I know you were terribly frustrated. Cats are wily, and they do what they want to do. To hell with what their person wants them to do. Tiger cats are my favorite color. I like the Morris cats, too, but prefer the tiger color.

    Amen on the chips at the Mexican food restaurant. LOL

    • I was. Most of all I was frustrated with my parents because they didn’t want to go out and look outside in the cold. I know it’s hard on Dad, but damn. Oh well. I love tiger cats, and Bengals. Actually, pretty much any kind of kitty. Miss mine.

      Yep. Killed my day yesterday. Thanks!

  16. Pingback: Does Being An Introvert or an Extrovert Affect Blogging? | Jenny Hansen's Blog

  17. Loved this story, so funny and what a handsome boy. Sometimes I think cats watch us running around looking for them and they stay quiet for the fun of it. Who knows what lurks in the mind of a cat. Glad he was warm inside the whole time.

  18. Pingback: A New Definition of Fluffy | Jenny Hansen's Blog

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with an *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


    Signup for news on new releases, sales and GIVEAWAYS!!!