Due to this post from Roni Loren (thank you for the warning, Roni) I’ve decided to remove most photos.
I’m excited to have the hilarious and supportive Jenny Hansen guest posting on the blog today. I was lucky enough to win the post during her blog contest last month, and I knew I had to get Jenny to talk about dating. Enjoy, and please leave Jenny some love in the comments!
Dear God…Can We Stop With
The Dating Disasters Already?
by Jenny Hansen
When I talked about starting my blog, every one of my single friends asked, “Are you going to talk about dating? It’s not like you aren’t a pro by now.” (OK, ouch.)
I really wavered on the subject.
On the one hand, my blogging mentor, Kristen Lamb, tells us to be positive (and dating today is “iffy” at best without a stellar plan). Plus, did they really have to remind me about how long I dated before I met my husband? Geesh.
On the other hand, Kristen shows bloggers how to connect with readers, and a discussion on dating is a sure-fire connecter.
The gals I know want some dating ANSWERS (actually they wanted ‘em yesterday!). If you’re single, I’ll bet you’re in the market for some answers too. If you’re married, it’s a safe bet you love to hear about being single.
I’m not just talking about the common sense tips our mothers gave us: don’t discuss politics, religion or your exes on those first few dates. Blah-blah-blah. (Snore.)
If you’ve reached the age of thirty and you don’t know these things yet, I recommend reading either of these articles: The Sun: The Top 10 Dating Dont’s or Oprah: The Millionaire Matchmaker’s Top 10 Things Not to Talk About on a First Date.
No, my friends want answers to questions like:
- Where do you find your soul mate?
- How do you manage this online dating thing?
- What do you do if someone calls you frigid on a first date?
- What to do if your unemployed father tries to barter dates with you for jobs.
- What is the DEAL with sexting?
Those are the questions today’s daters want to know the answers to. Let’s start with question #1:
Where Do You Find Your Soul Mate?
The best answer we’ve come up with is “stop looking.” Seriously, don’t hit me. All the newly-marrieds I’ve talked to agree: QUIT that frantic searching. Stay put and take time to celebrate you.
Do things like:
- Follow your passion – whether it’s for rock-climbing or decoupage.
- Unpack some of that emotional baggage, whether it’s through roundtable discussions with your BFF or a really good therapist.
- Get in shape so that you are happy with the way you look. I’m not talking about striving to be Jennifer Aniston – just get into better health and a sense of physical well-being, so your body can do the things you ask of it and you can accept a compliment.
It’s like the movie, Field of Dreams – corny but true. If you build yourself he/she will come. Put your energy into being the best “you” there is and your soul mate will home in on you like a beacon. Love is not a fixer-upper. Soul mates love you and, best of all, they “get” you. The catch is that you’ve got to love yourself first in order for your one-and-only to find you.
Some of you are shaking your head and muttering, “Love, Schmove. I just want to meet someone nice and have a few freaking dates, OK?”
I understand. The search gets old; we get tired.
Perhaps you’re wondering whether I’m qualified to speak to you on this whole dating thing. I assure you that I screwed dating up in nearly every possible manner before I stopped looking and my husband found me.
My girlfriends can certainly vouch for my years of experience, but I’ll let you decide for yourself. Dating By Committee over at More Cowbell tells my story. We’ll see what you have to say about dating disasters then!
In the meantime, I hope you’ll share some of your funny, touching or unfortunate experiences in the comments. If they’re too good to pass up, Stacy and I will find a way to work them into a future blog.
About Jenny Hansen
Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after the newly walking Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing. When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at jhansenwrites and at her group blog, Writers In The Storm.