Writing Goals:

My goals were to have sent out five queries for INTO THE DARK by the end of Round 4, and I’ve easily doubled that. I’ve got a partial and a full out (by request), as well as several submissions to e-publishers. No luck with agents as of yet, but I’m going to keep plugging away in the new year.

Unfortunately, querying INTO THE DARK took a lot more time and energy than I anticipated. My query required numerous rewrites, as did my synopsis, and my progress on my new book, THE PROPHET, suffered. I failed pretty miserably with my word count on it. And that’s okay. I learned a lot these last couple of months, and I’ve renewed my excitement in the book. I do expect to make a lot of progress on it once the holidays have come and gone.

I’ve done a pretty good job of supporting my writing friends, and Thriller Thursday is gradually gaining more views, so I’m calling wins on those goals.

Life Goals:

My life goals are still VERY much a work in progress. The carb watching and motivation to exercise is a daily battle for me. I plan on working harder on these next year, as well as focusing on the positives in life. I’m a pessimist by nature, so finding the proverbial flower in the weeds is tough for me. Obsessing over my mistakes and perceived failures are aspects of my personality I really need to work on, but I’m getting better.

Round 4 has been a bumpy ride for me (it’s cliché day, apparently). Once the queries starting going out and the rejections began, followed by the waiting game, I’ve struggled to find interest in writing. I’ve experienced periods of lethargy and guilt because I’ve not been able to switch gears as easily as some other writers seem to do. I should have been able to jump into writing THE PROPHET with no problem. After all, if I want writing to be my job, I have to have a thicker skin and stronger will.

I’m working on it. I’m also working on accepting that my process is different from others, and that’s okay. That’s not to say I don’t need to get my butt in gear and figure out a way to beat the doldrums when they barge into my head, but I’m trying to stop feeling guilty for not being like everyone else. I can strive to be better, but I also need to accept myself, faults and all.

We’ll see how that goes.

So I’m calling Round 4 a draw. I’m proud of myself for getting the courage to query and for (so far) not losing my mind as I wait. I wish I’d gotten farther along on The Prophet, but life gets in the way. Most of all, I’m looking forward to the new year and a very busy Round 5.

What about you? Was Row80 Round 4 a success for you? Is there anything you would have changed?

Rejections hurt. I’m not going to lie. INTO THE DARK is still out with several e-publishers, and it will be a while before I hear from them, but I’ve gotten responses back from a few of the agents I’ve queried. Some were personal, some were form. Some had pages attached, some didn’t. All were polite and respectful. Every single one hurt.

Rationally, I know these aren’t a reflection on me personally. Publishing is a business. Agents have their reasons. Rejection is a part of life. But the emotional side of me wants to crawl into bed and cry every time one pops up in my email. And then the second guessing starts. Should I have edited as much as I did? I’m writing suspense, so I tried to strike a balance between pace and characterization. Did I make the wrong choice? Should I go back in and work on the beginning yet again? And the e-publishers already have it…

Thank God for good friends to give me a much needed calming slap and a foot up my butt. I’ve done the best I can with INTO THE DARK. Yes, an editor will make it better, but I’ve got to hope for that chance and move on. The only control I have over rejections is to use them as fuel to make my writing stronger. When I do get editorial feedback, I need to accept it graciously and learn. For now, I have to leave Dark be and see what happens.

So after my amazing friends listened to my whining, I got back on track. I went back to writing on THE PROPHET and came up with an opening I’m really happy with. I already think the writing is better than INTO THE DARK, but then again, I’m so close to that book I can’t see it clearly anymore. I also wrote another 750 words in a scene I’ve been struggling with and finally feel I’m on track with the new manuscript. I remembered why I was so excited about it and more importantly, I’m looking forward to writing.

“You always believe in other people, but that’s easy. Sooner or later, you have to believe in yourself, too. Because that’s what growing up is. It’s becoming who you want to be.”
–Jason Segel, The Muppets Movie.

So my goal for this week is simple: write. I want to reach turning point one of THE PROPHET by next Sunday.

For those of you that didn’t win NaNo or didn’t participate, check out #NaNoSlackMo, created by the always inspiring Jenny Hansen. The goal is to write 25K this month, but I think getting your butt in the chair and writing as much as possible works, too.

Do you know how many times James Joyce’s Dubliners was rejected? Hint: more than 20.

How’s your week going? Are you finishing Row80 strong?