Thriller Extravaganza is in full swing, and I’m excited to welcome Kathy Bennett. As a former police officer, Kathy is skilled in something writers of all stages get wrong: authentic crime scenes. Thanks so much to her for taking the time to share her secrets with us!

Don’t forget to check out the other Thriller Extravaganza posts and enter the
GRAND PRIZE GIVEAWAY.

Most of my experience involving crime scenes comes from being one of the first police officers at the scene of a crime. Technically, anywhere a crime has occurred is a crime scene, but for the purposes of this blog, I’ll be talking about a setting up a crime scene for a major crime, i.e. a homicide.

Depending upon the circumstances, setting up a crime scene can be a difficult task after the immediate chaos of the crime, or it can involve methodical evidence collection long after the crime has occurred. There are a lot of details involved with setting up and preserving a crime scene, so I’m going to hit on the basics.

One thing to keep in mind: If you are writing about an actual police agency, it is always a good idea to contact that agency and find out what their policies and procedures are. If you are creating a fictional police department, the good news is that you are the Chief of Police– you can make up any policies and procedures you want to fit your story.

Getting back to reality…

The first officers on the scene are going to want to go through the crime seen to be sure there aren’t any additional victims or suspects still present.

The key thing to think about when writing a crime scene is, no matter if it’s the patrol cop who responds to the call or the detective who will be investigating the crime, they want to preserve the crime scene as much as possible and protect any evidence at the scene. The perimeter of the scene has to be large enough to protect the scene and keep the evidence free of contamination.

Many agencies utilize a Crime Scene Log where everyone who arrives at the scene and is assigned a task or enters the crime scene is logged in and out.

Officers (or detectives) will gather information from all possible witnesses at the scene.

Patrol officers will make contact with people at locations near the crime to find and identify possible witnesses.

If the location of the suspect(s) in known, the officers (or detectives) will at the least detain, and possibly arrest the suspect.

A crime broadcast might be put out to other officers in the field if there is information about an outstanding suspect.

A diagram of the area surrounding the crime scene will be done – usually by one of the first arriving patrol officers.

Identifying information of the ambulance crew will be obtained as well as interviewing them of their observations of the crime scene, what they did, and anything they touched or moved at the scene.

Smoking, eating and/or drinking should not be permitted in the crime scene.

Once the investigating detective gets to the scene, he should make note of the officer in control of the Crime Scene Log, his own time of arrival on the scene, the exact address of the scene of the crime, the lighting conditions, the weather conditions and the outside temperature. These are details that can easily be forgotten or overlooked. When an investigating detective is unsure of these basic facts of the investigation, their credibility may be questioned during testimony.

As I said in the beginning of this blog, there are as many scenarios for setting up a crime scene as there are story ideas. However, if a writer can get the basics right, a reader is more likely to believe situations when the writer must ‘bend authenticity’ for the sake of the story.

What do you guys think? What are some of the major problems you see with crime scenes? Do you think television programs have had a detrimental affect on crime writers?

Kathy’s giving away a copy of A DEADLY BLESSING to one lucky commenter, so make sure to leave her some love!

Kathy Bennett’s career with the LAPD began in 1973 as a civilian employee. After serving eight years as a civilian, Kathy became a sworn member of the force, and was a Los Angeles Police Officer for twenty-one years. While most of her career was spent in a patrol car, she’s also been a Firearms Instructor at the LAPD Police Academy, a crime analyst in the “War Room”, a Field Training Officer, and worked undercover in various assignments. She’s was named Officer of the Quarter twice, and Officer of the Year once. 

Kathy has self-published two suspense e-books, A Dozen Deadly Roses and A Deadly Blessing. Both books became bestsellers at Amazon and Barnes and Noble, reaching the Top 100 e-books at both retailers. Find out more about Kathy at:  www.KathyBennett.com

A big THANK YOU to Stacy Green for inviting me to be her guest today!

Visceral Rules!

By Margie Lawson

Let’s talk visceral!

First, I’ll SHOW, then I’ll TELL, then I’ll SHOW and TELL.

SHOWING:

Romily Bernard, 2012 Golden Heart Winner, and multi-Margie-grad

Find Me,  Romily’s debut Young Adult novel will be published Sept. 2013

1. Then I hear the car door slam and my heart rides up my throat with spurs.
2. “We have a visitor.” Weird how my voice sounds flat and confident when my insides are churning and liquid.
3. I rub my thumb over the frayed binding, irritation pinching all my insides like I’ve got mosquitoes eating their way out.
4. There’s a flickering under my scalp, a tingling across the back of my neck. My annoying mosquitoes have grown into spiders. They’re crawling all over my skin.

TELLING:

A visceral response is a physical manifestation of emotion.

If you’ve taken some of my online courses, or heard me present a full day master class, you know a key to writing a page-turner is visceral emotion.

You know a scene carries psychological power when you use several scene components, including visceral responses.

You know when emotions in a scene are high, POV characters need to get out of their heads to get in to reader’s hearts.

Visceral responses include, but are not limited to:

• stomach clenching
• heart pounding
• rapid and shallow breathing
• pulse racing
• adrenaline surging
• legs weakening
• throat tightening
• mouth drying
• face flushing
• nausea imminent
• chest tightening
• equilibrium failing
• hear blood rushing
• vision narrowing

Visceral responses are involuntary.

You can’t keep your face from flushing. You can’t keep your mouth from going dry. You can’t keep your chest from tightening, your heart from pounding, your vision from narrowing.

If visceral responses are clichéd, the scene loses power.

If there are too many visceral responses, the scene loses power.

If variations on the same visceral response are overused, the scene loses power.

Time Out for a Teaching Point on Rhetorical Devices!

The paragraph starting with—You can’t keep—Is an example of anaphora.

The next three lines below that paragraph, the ones ending with—the scene loses power—that’s an example of epistrophe.

Now – back to visceral responses. 

When a POV character experiences a strong emotional stimulus, they will have a visceral response. And that visceral response presents immediately.

Visceral responses are experienced first. Always.

When there’s a strong emotional stimulus, people don’t act first.

People don’t think first.

People don’t speak first.

People experience a visceral response first. It’s immediate.

If your characters experience a visceral response first, your scene will be more credible.

We want readers hooked, glued, secured, emotionally immersed in our stories. We want readers viscerally engaged.

SHOWING AND TELLING:

Melanie Milburne, USA Today Bestselling Author, and multi-Margie-grad

Deserving of His Diamonds? 

1. Gisele’s heart tripped in her chest like a pony’s hoof in a pothole.

Analysis: Fresh writing, Simile, Alliteration, Compelling cadence

1. Gisele felt a butterfly wing-like flutter pass over the floor of her belly.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Specificity. A subtle play on the cliché, butterflies in stomach, but it’s fresh and light and connotes something positive. Compelling cadence.

1. Her legs felt like dampened paper, barely strong enough to hold her upright. Her spine was loosening, vertebra by vertebra, until she felt sure she would melt into a pool at his feet. Where was her resolve? Where was her anger? They were like cowardly soldiers retreating from the frontline of battle.

Analysis: Fresh writing, twice! Simile. Specificity. Several points amplified multiple times. Two rhetorical questions. Amplified simile backloaded with power word: battle. Compelling cadence.

Barbara O’Neal, Seven-time RITA Winner, Inducted into the RWA Hall of Fame

The Garden of Happy Endings

1. Elsa paused on the threshold, feeling a dense, dark energy swelling from somewhere, through her. Dizzy, she closed her eyes and put a hand on the door to steady herself.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Amplified feeling. Alliteration, twice. Body language. Recovery. Compelling cadence.

1. Tamsin sat through the sermon with a brick in her belly.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Fun metaphor. Alliteration, twice. Compelling cadence.

1. Her lungs pinched hard enough that she had to cough, like an old lady, to get air.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Visceral response used as a stimulus. Amplified with simile. Backloaded with power words: to get air. Compelling cadence.

1. A sense of anticipation skittered over the top of her skin, brushing the back of her neck, her elbows, her belly.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Alliteration. Specificity. Anaphora. Asyndeton. Compelling cadence.

Darynda Jones, 2012 RITA Winner, and multi-Margie-grad

Third Grave on the Left

1. A rush of delight rippled down my spine and pooled in my abdomen. My pulse accelerated by a hairsbreadth, just enough to cause a tingling flutter in my stomach

Analysis: Fresh writing. Visceral responses, amplified multiple times. Specificity. Visceral response used as a stimulus for another visceral response (pulse accelerating triggered tingling flutter in stomach). Compelling cadence.

1. A vise locked around my chest and was inching closed. My periphery darkened. I could barely breathe, and I needed out of there.

Analysis: Three basic visceral responses. First visceral response intensified. Two others in separate sentences. Shared need to leave, implying things would get worse if she didn’t leave. Compelling cadence.

The last examples I’ll analyze are the four by Romily Bernard that you read in the opening of the blog.

Romily Bernard, 2012 Golden Heart Winner, and multi-Margie-grad

Find Me,   Romily’s debut Young Adult novel will be published Sept. 2013

1. Then I hear the car door slam and my heart rides up my throat with spurs.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Shared stimulus and response. Amplified visceral response twice. Backloaded with power word: spurs. Compelling cadence.

1. “We have a visitor.” Weird how my voice sounds flat and confident when my insides are churning and liquid.

Analysis: Fresh writing.  Complex dialogue cue.  Complex visceral response. Parallelism.  Compelling cadence.

1. I rub my thumb over the frayed binding, irritation pinching all my insides like I’ve got mosquitoes eating their way out.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Shares stimulus (the book) and amplified visceral response.  Implies creepy/scary feelings, without saying she was creeped out or scared. Backloaded with power. Compelling cadence.

1. There’s a flickering under my scalp, a tingling across the back of my neck. My annoying mosquitoes have grown into spiders. They’re crawling all over my skin.

Analysis: Fresh writing. Picks up visceral thread from half-page above. Visceral amplified multiple times. Mosquitoes to spiders, implies danger intensified. Compelling cadence.

Excellent examples from all the authors!

This blog shared some ideas for using visceral responses. You got to taste a few dishes from my visceral response smorgasbord.

Lots more to learn about writing visceral responses.  I dig deep into visceral responses in these two online courses:

1. Empowering Characters’ Emotions
2. The EDITS System: Turning Troubled Scenes in to Winners!

The next time I teach Empowering Characters’ Emotions is February.  But the Lecture Packet can be ordered any time through my web site.

I teach The EDITS System course Sept. 24 – Oct. 19.

Please check out my online courses and presentation schedule. I’m presenting in Denver, Houston, Seattle, and Washington D.C. this fall. I hope to meet some of you in one of those cities this fall – or somewhere next year. Atlanta?

BLOG GUESTS:  NOW IT’S YOUR TURN! 

POST A COMMENT AND YOU MAY WIN a Lecture Packet  or one of my online courses from Lawson Writer’s Academy!

I’ll post the name of the LUCKY WINNER  tonight – at 9PM Mountain Time.

Post a comment – or just say “Hi Margie!” – and you could be a WINNER!

 —Make sure you leave a comment for a chance at winning an awesome gift from Margie. Don’t forget to enter the THRILLER EXTRAVAGANZA GRAND PRIZE giveaway of either a silver spot in Kristen Lamb’s WANA International Blogging or an Amazon Gift Card and a bag of healthy goodies. 

***IF YOU ARE A NEW COMMENTER, YOUR COMMENT WILL NEED TO BE APPROVED. DON’T WORRY IF IT DOESN’T SHOW UP RIGHT AWAY – I’LL GET IT:)

Lawson Writer’s Academy now has 37 courses and 12 instructors. LWA courses are taught in a cyber classroom from Margie’s website, www.MargieLawson.com.

Upcoming Courses from Lawson Writer’s Academy:

1.  Aug. 20 – Sept. 28:  Fab 30 in 40 Days: Advanced Deep Editing, A Master Class

     Instructor: Margie Lawson

2.  Sept. 1 – 30: Story Structure Safari

     Instructor: Lisa Miller

3.  Sept. 3 – 28:  Writing Compelling Scenes

     Instructor: Shirley Jump

4.  Sept. 3 – 28:  Steampunk A-Z

      Instructor: Suzi Lazear

5.  Sept. 24 – Oct. 19:  The EDITS System:  Turning Troubled Scenes in to Winners

      Instructor: Margie Lawson

Margie Lawson —psychotherapist, editor, and international presenter—developed innovative editing systems and deep editing techniques used by writers, from newbies to NYT Bestsellers. She teaches writers how to edit for psychological power, how to hook the reader viscerally, how to create a page-turner.

Thousands of writers have learned Margie’s psychologically-based deep editing material. In the last seven years, she presented over seventy full day Master Classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

Please contact Margie if you think your group might be interested in having her present a master class for them.

For more information on Lawson Writer’s Academy, lecture packets, full day master classes, and the 4-day Immersion Master Class sessions offered in Margie’s Colorado mountain-top home, visit:  www.MargieLawson.com.

How can we help each other? That’s been the burning question in my Suspense, Mystery, and Mayhem group on Kristen Lamb’s WANA Tribe.

So many things to discuss: craft, book launches, social media, marketing–the list goes on. And of course, the million dollar question: what do readers want?

I want to help my writing friends and connect thriller and suspense readers to new, exciting authors, so I decided to go to the experts. The thriller writers who’ve been there, done that, and have hard-earned experience to back up their advice. So in August, I’m bringing you Thriller Writer’s Extravaganza!

With help from WANA friends August Mclaughlin, Catie Rhodes and Piper Bayard, I’ve got some AMAZING authors lined up.

Thriller Writers Extravaganza

August 2
R.J. Ellory, bestselling author of A Simple Act of Violence
* Creating Tension *

August 9
Margie Lawson, writing coach of awesomeness
* Killer thriller craft *

August 16
Kathy Bennett, police officer turned crime writer (A Deadly Blessing),
* Writing authentic crime scenes *

August 23
Allison Brennan, bestselling author of The Lucy Kincaid Series,
* Tricks of crafting a superior series *

August 30
Vicki Hinz, bestselling author of The Mind Reader
* Crossing genres in fiction *

Five Thursdays devoted to thriller writers and readers. Bestselling thriller authors giving us the tricks of craft, advice on plotting a series, and the secret formula to figuring out what readers want. And don’t worry, thriller readers! You’re the most important, and we want you to meet new writers, so there will be a special post dedicated to awesome up-and-coming thriller writers.

Of course, no extravaganza would be complete without prizes, and I’ve got them lined up for you. For readers, every author will be giving away a copy of their book, and you can also win a $25 Amazon gift card and a bag of yummy healthy goodies courtesy of August McLaughlin (U.S. only). And for the writers, Kristen Lamb is offering a grand prize of a silver spot in her awesome WANA International blogging class.

For more details on the contest, exclusive news on my debut suspense novel,  my decision to go Indie, and other thriller related fun, sign up for my newsletter,
Twisted Minds and Dark Places.

Mark your calendars and spread the word to join us on Thriller Thursdays for the Thriller Extravaganza!

The WIP (formerly known as The Prophet) and now renamed TIN GOD is completed. Now, it’s just a first draft of a very complex plot, so after my vacation, I will be digging in for some serious editing. But I’m celebrating because I set the goal of having it complete before vacation, and I made it with two days to spare.

Ironically, INTO THE DARK (my debut from MuseItUp Publishing) was complete a year ago this week. My life has changed so much the last twelve months, and I’m so grateful to all my writing friends for their help and support.

I’ve got some big things coming up at Turning The Page. If you haven’t heard of Kristen Lamb’s #WANA Love Revolution or her new venture, WANA International, take a few minutes and check it out.

I recently asked fellow suspense/thriller writers in my Suspense, Mystery, and Mayhem group, “how can we help each other?” Well, I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve been inspired by Kristen’s WANA methods, and I have not one but two big surprises for you all this summer. Stay tuned!

Finally, I’m excited to announce the release date for my suspense novel INTO THE DARK is November 30. Merry early Christmas to me! I just returned my content edits and am looking forward to the line edits. To celebrate, I’m sharing the first ever excerpt of INTO THE DARK with you all.

He sees her when she’s sleeping. He knows when she’s awake. Her life he’s determined to take.

Crazy seemed to understand this. He paced the room, reminding Emilie of a caged tiger she saw in the zoo as a child. The animal’s huge paws had worn a bare path in the green grass as it constantly circled its enclosure. Like the tiger, the man’s eyes shifted from person to person, spot to spot but never settled. He knew he was as trapped as the hostages.

But the man sitting next to her was calm. Serene. And he scared her to death.

“Why are you here?” Butterflies swarmed in her stomach. Sweat rolled down her forehead and stung her eyes.

Laugh lines appeared at the corner of the man’s eyes. Was he smiling underneath the mask? “You don’t know, Miss Emilie?”

Her heart skidded to a stop. How did he know her name? Throat constricted, she shook her head.

“For you, Miss Emilie. I’m here for you.” 

How is your summer going? Are you all close to meeting your Row80 goals this round? Have you joined the #WANA Revolution yet?