As an author building my brand, I know I shouldn’t post some of the things I do, even though I keep it on my personal page. And I’ve certainly gone against much of my family in my posts, although that is probably par for the course at this point in my life. Posting my opinion and fears made me feel better, despite possible ramifications.

Here’s why. A lot of writers (or anyone in a creative field) are highly emotional people. We live on a rollercoaster of ups and downs, and that’s sometimes DOUBLED because if we’re doing it right, we’re suffering through our character’s woes as well. My mind never stops, and it’s full of about 900 different threads. Some are work related, many are family: my parents; issues between myself and others that have me baffled and hurt; Grace’s daily stuff. At any given time, there’s a conversation going on in my head. It might be something I want to say to a family member but never can, or maybe how I’ll deal with the attorney for my parents tomorrow, or even how to help Grace work through an issue. My point is, it’s all fueled by emotion. And often fear of the unknown is right on its heels. So add in something as volatile as politics and the future of our country, and things become a powder keg.

We see so many terrible things going on, and we read way too much on FB, and we just keep absorbing and absorbing, and then we’ve got to speak.

I probably spoke too much. To all of the family members and friends I offended: I never meant to target you in anger. I never meant to say you personally are racist, anti-semitic, anti-everything but straight, white male. When I wrote those posts, I wrote them with a vary specific subset of Trump supporters in mind, but I probably generalized the posts too much. I’m sad for the divide it’s probably caused with some family members, although the gap was already very established. I’m sad for anyone I made feel badly or targeted by my posts because that’s just another form of hate and fear that so many of us are afraid of for the next four years.

I do stand by the things I said. Putting them on Facebook isn’t the answer, however, because all it does is incite arguments and push-back. Clearly, no Facebook or Twitter status ever swayed a vote. But when you run on emotion like I do, and your life is so full of personal and business responsibilities, you feel like social media is the only way you can make a difference and get your voice heard. And how can we stay silent when we see terrible things happening, and we have so much fear for our future?

Social media isn’t the answer. It’s full of targeted hate and threats. Trying to make any point on whatever platform you choose is probably going to be ignored at best.

So what can I do?  I can donate to the various groups who are willing and able to protect civil rights and the environment. I can keep my eyes open in my community for hate crimes or threats, and I can educate my child that we must be tolerant of others’ opinions even if we don’t agree, but intolerant of bigotry and cruelty. I can teach her that skin color and religious preference don’t matter, and that we stand up to bullying in any form. I can set the best example I can for her and encourage her to do the same for her peers. I can tell her that even though times are scary, we are all going to be okay.

Because I have to believe that’s true.

If you want to donate time and/or money to groups fighting to protecting civil and human rights, click here.

On Saturday night, the Chicago Cubs made history, breaking their so-called curse and making their first World Series since 1945. It all happened at Wrigley Field, where generations of faithful gathered to celebrate. These Cubs are young and hungry, and as potential league MVP Kris Bryant said, too young to care about curses.

But what about cracking under pressure? Cubs fans have seen it happen before. In 2003, we watched a more experienced team, with an all-star pitching staff, come apart after a crazy inning when a fan interfered with a play. Those Cubs lost their composure, their lead in the series, and eventually the NLCS. This year’s team is made of young, hungry guys who are mostly between 22-28, with the exception of catcher David Ross. He’s 39, and they call him Grandpa. Awesome, right? How could these young, relatively inexperienced guys handle such an enormous task?

This team started the season with great expectations by the fans, the media, the organization, and themselves. Four games into the season, one of their powerhouses tore his ACL and LCL. Many fans were doom and gloom. But the players held steady and went on to a 103 win season. Then came the postseason. They went into the NLCS the favorites, but ended up down 2-1 when their hitters were shut out for two games. Talk about pressure. An entire city and worldwide legion of fans has put their hopes on you, not to mention the bosses who hired you to produce glory.

Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo, both MVP candidates, couldn’t hit a damn thing. Rizzo was something like 0 for 10, and it was getting scary. I had major doubts, in part because these guys are so young. The millennial generation (and those who came after) aren’t known for toughness. They’ve grown up in a different time, with a shift in education that in some cases makes it easier to be average and put out average effort. They’re among the “everyone’s a winner and gets a ribbon” generations, and many of those people have a hard time in college and the real world because they’ve never learned how to fail.

Rizzo’s a cancer survivor, so it’s no surprise he broke it open in game four and led the Cubs to major victory. But the other young guys stepped it up to. Even though Bryant’s bat remained cool, he earned walks and got on base. Javier Baez and Addison Russell, who both look like they should still be in high school, brought their bats and incredible outfield skills. Game 5 was more of the same.

Anthony Rizzo made the national news when a mic caught him apologizing to the umpire for his actions the prior inning when he thought he’d walked but had a strike called (I didn’t think he was disrespectful, and neither did the umpire, it seemed). Parents shared the video across Facebook as an inspiration to their kids.

And then came game 6 in Chicago on Saturday night. A team on the cusp of history. 300,000 fans waiting OUTSIDE Wrigley Field to celebrate, plus the lucky ones with tickets ready to watch the game. A Cubs pitcher on the mound with a hell of a task on his shoulders, including going against a 3-time Cy Young Award winner and the man who shut the Cubs out in game 2.

Starting pitcher Kyle Hendricks never wavered, never cracked under the pressure. Never faltered when his team earned an error. The crowd booed when he was relieved in the 7th because he was still in full control.

The hitters brought their bats, and the Cubs prevailed. Celebration ensued, with quite a few tears among the faithful. But of all their accomplishments this season, what’s impressed me most about this young team is their poise and grace. They’ve made their share of mistakes, but they learned from them and pushed forward instead of cracking. When times were rough and they weren’t performing to their (and millions of others) expectations, they didn’t crack or whine or call foul. They worked harder and came out of their slump. And they didn’t allow the Cubs sad history to affect them, especially manager Joe Maddon, who no doubt played a big role in cultivating talent and managing egos.

Kris Bryant said they were too young to worry about curses. Perhaps, but they defied a generational stereotype this season, showing young people how to play hard, work hard, and be humble. They showed our youth how to be grateful for their accomplishments and the importance of teamwork. They’ve inspired a whole new generations of fans by being great role models, and as a parent, I’m forever grateful.

Go Cubs Go!

11 years ago in June, my oldest brother was killed in a car accident. She was already diabetic and overweight but until that moment, everything was stable. But the stress caused her slow decline. I was pregnant at the time, and she was healthy enough to help us paint my daughter’s room. After Grace was born, Mom was a huge help in taking care of her those first weeks. Grace is almost 11 now, and Mom can barely get around.

Since she went on dialysis, I’ve felt as though I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, just waiting for her death to push me off. Her kidney doctor didn’t think she’d make it two years on dialysis because of her heart condition, but until the last couple of weeks, she’s done very well, and he admitted she surprised him. But she’s still very sick, and we could lose her any day. I try to take it one day at a time and be grateful she’s still here, but it’s a struggle.

I truly thought we were going to lose her this time. Shortly after she was admitted to the University of Iowa Hospital two weeks ago, it just seemed like all her systems were shutting down. I had a conference to go to, and it was too late to cancel the hotel or airline. We stood to loose thousands, and she insisted I go. She said she’d be hurt if I didn’t. Walking out of that room that night was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I really thought she’d die before we got on the plane the next morning.

But yet again, she rebounded and is out of the hospital. But she’s still sick, and the reality is we’ll be lucky to get another couple of years for someone her age on dialysis.

So much of my life is spent waiting for the worst to come and fighting against that. I know I should cherish every day, and I honestly try to. But every time the phone rings, my heart stops.

How do we continue to enjoy and live our own lives when someone we love so much is in such a perilous condition? I feel guilty when I’m not worrying about her, and then I feel bad because I’m not giving my husband and daughter my full attention.

And in the back of my mind, there’s always the single, terrible question: what will I do without my mom?

There aren’t any answers, and I know I’m not alone in going through something like this. Watching our parents age and suffer is an awful thing, and I’m lucky I’m close enough to her to help take care of her. But there’s another part of me that’s angry, at both her and life for putting such a good person through such terrible things. She’s only 74, and she deserves better. I think of all the time I spent with her that I took for granted, all the little memories that have evaporated over the years. I should have cherished those moments, stockpiled them, journaled about them.

But that won’t lessen the pain of losing her. So I’ll continue to take things a day at a time and be grateful for whatever time she has left. I’ll also use her health issues as a motivator for my own life, so that I continue to get healthy and avoid the issues she’s dealing with. I don’t want to put my own daughter through this some day.

And to anyone with diabetes, please take care. I know weight is usually a mental issue, so seek therapy if you possibly can. Don’t underestimate what it can do to your body, and don’t underestimate the power of stress. Find healthy ways to cope, seek therapy or other help as needed. We only have one life, and we need to cherish it!

Fear of death is something I struggle with, and it’s a topic I tried to explore with Lucy Kendall. Why am I so afraid? Is it a lack of faith? I don’t think so. I believe in God and some kind of an afterlife, even if I’m not sure any single religion is correct.

I think the real crux of it is the idea that one day, I will be no more on this earth. That my own body will just cease. I will be dead. I go through periods of mild panic attacks, usually in the middle of the night, when for just a very brief, heart stopping moment, the truth fully dawns on me. Dead.

And yet, I am strangely drawn to anything morbid. Research is easy for me. Crime scene photos don’t bother me (unless they’re children). The whole idea of embalming and how long a body can last is fascinating to me.

But I hate funerals. I hate seeing them in the casket, all waxen and usually nowhere close to looking like themselves. Dead people in pictures don’t feel as real. It’s easy to see them as an object, something that’s not going to happen to me. Seeing the reality, surrounded by grief and the powerful scent of funeral flowers, I can no longer pretend.

Like all parents, I don’t want to pass my hangups on to my kid. I’ve been very upfront with Grace about death, and her attending a funeral has been a point of contention between my husband and me. He believed she was too young, I thought she needed to have the experience before someone she knew and loved passed on.

She attended our friend’s funeral. Before we left, I told her what to expect, explaining how people often are embalmed and then we pay our respects. I wanted her to understand that death and the body she may see was nothing to be afraid of. It’s a part of life we can’t dwell on, and we were there to honor him.

Grace handled it well. So did I, once I realized the casket was closed. Selfishly, I didn’t want to see that good man like that, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to calm my daughter’s fears if she got upset, because deep inside, I’m scared too. But she did witness the mourning process, and she understood the gravity of the situation.

I still fear death, and I still don’t know exactly why. But hopefully, by being open and honest with Grace, I won’t pass on the same fears to her.

The class had a mix of new and experienced authors, published and unpublished.

DISCLAIMER #1: when I say published, I’m including indie published.

As I listened to the great presentations, I kept hearing the phrases “attracting an agent,” or “staying out of the slush pile.” Many of the talks referenced all the tiny little things that can make an agent or editor toss a manuscript aside. I could see the unpublished authors squirming and turning green.

As the day went on, I had one unrelenting thought: I’m so glad to be indie!

DISCLAIMER #2: Your publishing path is yours alone. Neither is an easy choice or a get rich quick opportunity, and both mean HARD WORK and rejection.

Let me clarify, being grateful to be Indie has nothing to do with confidence in my writing. In the last couple of months I have learned to believe in myself more than ever. I’m very proud of all my books, and I’m exceptionally happy with the latest thriller, ALL GOOD DEEDS, and the Lucy Kendall character.

I’m grateful I chose Indie because I don’t have to worry about an agent rejecting me because of personal preference, or because the marketing department doesn’t know if they could sell my book, or because I used two spaces at the end of a sentence instead of one (true story.) I get to bypass all that and focus on the story and the writing.

And while there are writing rules we all must follow (Grammar, anyone?! And the three-act structure), I don’t have to worry about pleasing the status quo or taking risks. I don’t know if an agent or editor or marketing department would have believed in Lucy Kendall. But that doesn’t matter, because I do.

DISCLAIMER #3: Indie Publishing isn’t for the faint of heart. I believe in investing in your business, and that means paying for good, EXPERIENCED editors and cover artists.

Now, a word on editing. It’s everything. I pay for developmental, copyediting, and proofing. And I will continue to do so because I learn so much about writing every time my editor tears apart my manuscript. To me, Indie publishing means subcontracting the editing, formatting, and cover art. That means I’m a business, and to be successful, you have to invest in the highest quality available.

But the best part of this journey is that I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but myself and the readers. I get to put them first, and that’s extremely liberating!

Writing isn’t about the royalty (although that’s a beautiful bonus), but about being able to stay true to the story in my head and my heart. I’m blessed to have editors who understand my vision but won’t hesitate to tell me when I’m derailing.

Just to be clear, this post isn’t about traditional vs. Indie. I hate that argument. Only you can decide what’s best for your career, and what will make you happy in the long run. The beauty is that we have so many more choices than we did five years ago. Despite all the extra headaches that come with being Indie published, I’m so grateful to have made that choice.

What about you? Do you love your chosen publishing path? Or are you still trying to decide which is right for you?

It’s almost Christmas, and I’ve decided to give readers a special treat! My sampler that includes excerpts of all my books, including an EXCLUSIVE PASSAGE of the final book in the Delta Crossroads Trilogy, Ashes and Bone, is available for free download via my website. I’ll be submitting to vendors soon, but I wanted my followers to have first crack. You can download the PDF below or from the link in the navigation bar. The sampler will always be free, as a gift to my readers!

I hope you have a wonderful and safe holiday season.

Download Stacy Green: A Twisted Minds Sampler for FREE Now!

I never expected to be a success out of the gate–that’s a rarity and usually happens to someone with major house backing. My goal was to put out the best books I could and continue to improve my craft. After hiring a freelance editor who worked with Penguin NAL, I know I’ve done that. And every day I focus on putting out better stories. That said, there are those days when I wish for the big numbers of my more established peers. I do believe the key to building an audience lies in writing more books, and that much of the time and money new authors spend toward marketing is a waste, but that doesn’t stop me from sometimes feeling like I’m still on the outside of the ballroom, hoping to be allowed into the exclusive dance. That said, I believe in my writing 100%, and I have big plans for 2014.

So after a year in this business (and don’t get me wrong, I’m still very much a newbie), what would I tell someone getting ready to publish their first novel?

• If you’re independently publishing, put your money into editing. Do your research and hire a developmental editor – one with experience editing the genre you write. A critique partner is NOT the same as an editor, especially for a newer writer.
• Hire a separate line editor. This is different from developmental editor. This is about sentence structure, grammar, etc. A good line editor is worth the investment because they can prevent a lot of the grammar issues that seem to be a major issue with independently published books.
• If you’re going with a small press, make sure their editing is top notch. Read their books and look for quality of plot and grammar.
• If you’re going with a small press, stop and think about that decision. In this digital world, unless you go with a small press that has some pull with bookstores or marketing, it might not be the best investment of your money. Depending on the press, you won’t have much control over pricing and sales, and that makes a big difference. A huge part of the success of many independently published authors is working their prices and staggering their sales.
• Understand cover art and hire an artist who gets the differences between genres. This was a major mistake with my Delta Crossroads Series. The original covers were beautiful and professional, but they didn’t fit in with the suspense genre. My new cover artist finally told me that my books resemble Lisa Gardners, and asked if my covers looked like hers. When I realized that huge difference, the genre thing finally clicked.
• Don’t spend a bunch of money in marketing. I’ve learned the hard way that there isn’t much point in investing a lot until you’ve got at least three books out and if possible, an entire series. Readers are so inundated with options many don’t want to invest their time and money in an author until they have more books, and an entire series is available to them. I don’t read like that, so it was hard for me to get that mentality. But after taking a step back and listening to established (and successful) indie authors, I had to admit this was absolutely true.
• Write the next book. Invest your time in coming up with great plots and characters.
• Read a lot. It really does make a difference.
• Study what your peers are doing. Look at authors who’ve had successful book launches and see what they are doing on Facebook.
• Be accessible, and be grateful for every reader. Most of us are starting from the ground up, building an audience reader by reader. Embrace that. Get to know your readers and make sure they understand how important they are to you.
• Start a mailing list. Give those readers something special. You may have to play around and figure out what that something special needs to be, but a mailing list is a great way to build loyal readers.
• Keep writing. Don’t get boiled down in numbers. Don’t check them half a dozen times a day. Keep writing.
• Whether you have an agent and are seeking traditional publishing or publishing independently, you are a brand and a business. Don’t make decisions based on emotion. Do what is best for the long term career you’re after.
• This is a business. Most success stories don’t come overnight. WORK HARD. Be a student of craft and of the industry. Realize this is an all hours a day job.
• Stay positive. You are lucky to be following your dream and brave to be embarking down this road. Good luck!

Don’t forget about the Kindle Giveaway to celebrate my one year in publishing! Contest ends December 13th!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

So in honor of Halloween, I’m sharing my 5 Creepiest Tunnels and Passages. Sadly, I’ve not been to any of them. One day!

Kings Tramway Subway, London

Built in 1906, this subway runs under the Holborn Distract of London. It was built to connect existing tramways on the north and south sides of the River Thames and is the only one of its kind. It closed in 1952 but brave urban explorers still venture into the tunnels.

Edinburgh Underground Vaults

Now here’s a place that’s on my macabe must see list. Discovered in the mid 1980s, the passage is abandoned and completely dark.

From Mercat Tours:

The Vaults remain untouched since they were abandoned in the early nineteenth century but beware…they are empty, but not unoccupied!

This eerie setting is home to dark, mysterious and often tragic apparitions whose ghostly presence leaves a lingering sense of immense sorrow and deprivation. Visitors have stumbled backwards in response to a malevolent lunge. Witnesses testify to the presence of the cobbler who labours industriously. A little boy, laughing playfully, has held visitors’ hands in his cold grasp as a brown dog with long, wiry hair runs between their legs.

Described by the BBC as ‘probably the most haunted place in Britain’ The Underground Vaults never fail to fascinate and intrigue all who visit them.

Portland’s Underground Cities

In Portland, Oregon, from 1850 to 1941, a series of trap doors in bars or the dead-ends of alleys were death traps for unsuspecting men. The men would fall through the unseen trap and into the Portland Underground Tunnels–the Shanghai Tunnels. Connected and extending for miles beneath the city, these tunnels served shangaiers, bootleggers, white slaves and opium den owners. The shanghaied men were forced on to ships under horrible conditions.

Even worse, the white slavers stole girls as young as 14 and prostituted them, but only after leaving them in a tiny, dark cell until their wills were broken.

The Paris Catacombs

I will see the Paris Catacombs before I die. Their history fascinates me, and I’ve no doubt ghost stories abound from the underground grave yard. The short history of the Catacombs is this: near the end of the 1700s in France, after the plague, bodies were piling up in Paris’s various graveyards. Les Innocents was particularly bad, and the multitude of bodies was making the city’s precarious heath worse.

City officials moved the bones of thousands of people into the abandoned quarries. By 1810, work began to transform the caverns into a visitable place. Louis-Étienne Héricart de Thury began renovations to transform the caverns in to a visitable internment. He directed the relocation of skulls and femurs in the arrangements seen today and used the tombstones and cemetery decorations brought over from the old graveyards to complement the walls of bones.

Naturally legend and lore abound in the catacombs. Victor Hugo used his knowledge about the system in Les Miserables. The dead from the riots in the Place de Greve, the Hotel de Brienne, and Rue Meslee reside in the catacombs. Walls are decorated with graffiti dating back to the 18th century. During WW11, Parisian members of the French Resistance used the tunnel system to hide.

Like I said, a must see place.

The Body Chute at Waverly Hills Sanitarium
*text taken from a previous post of mine on Waverly Hills*

Waverly Hills Sanitorium is believed to be one of the most haunted places in the world. Louisville Ghost Hunters Societyhas conducted many investigations on the premises, and their results are terrifying. They’ve heard ghostly sounds, spotted lights that couldn’t be on, had objects hurled at them, been struck by unseen hands, and have spotted apparitions.

In a building where unimaginable suffering occurred for decades, it’s no wonder the paranormal activity is intense.

Historians believe between 40,000 and 60,000 people died in Waverly Hills Sanitarium—some from the disease and many others from experimental procedures.

So many perished at Waverly that a tunnel was dug from the lower level of the hospital out out to a field away from the main section of the hospital. Kept out of sight from the living patients, the “body chute” was a sad and busy place. Some accounts claim more than forty bodies per day were sent down the chute during the highpoint of the TB siege. A motorized wench system guided the bodies down the tunnel while hearses lined up at the end and staff wheeled the dead away.

There’s no electricity in the body chute. Imagine pitch darkness with only flashlights to guide you, much like the Las Vegas Tunnels featured in Into The Dark. The chute is reported to be on of the most haunted areas of the Sanitarium. Voices have been captured on tape (EVPS), as well as unexplainable mists, cold spots, and apparitions.

So what do you think? Are these places creepy enough for you? Have you explored an underground tunnels or secret passages?

Don’t forget to stop by the Official Launch Party for Skeleton’s Key tomorrow on Facebook! I’ll be sharing behind the scenes secrets and giving away some very cool swag.

If you haven’t had a chance to pick up your copy of SKELETON’S KEY (Delta Crossroads #2), it’s available in paperback and all digital formats.

Skeleton’s Key on Kindle (US)

Skeleton’s Key on Amazon UK

Skeleton’s Key on Nook

Skeleton’s Key on iBooks (iTunes)

The house on the cover is Ironwood, the plantation I created for SKELETON’S KEY. The exterior is based on Malmaison Plantation, which burned down in the 1940s.

And thanks to all of you who’ve tweeted and shared the cover pieces/teasers. TWO WEEKS until release!

SKELETON’S KEY (Delta Crossroads #2)
10.28.13

Cage couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Flashlight in her shaking hand, Dani shined the beam into the dark space. He peered over the top of her head and caught a glimpse of brass, dark wood, and an oblong table. She gave a little squeal and started to crawl inside.

“Stop.” He caught her by the arm. “You don’t know what’s in there. Let me go first.”

Her face fell, but she nodded her agreement. Cage took the flashlight. The panel was barely four feet tall. Crouching down, he stuck one leg and then the other inside the room. He shined the light on the ceiling. It was high enough for him to stand straight.

Cobwebs and stale air should have already assaulted them, but just like the master bedroom, the space smelled clean. “He cleaned up in here, too.”

“Let me in!” Dani shoved at him.