Comments on: Thriller Thursday: Getting Personal

By: Stacy Green

Stacy Green — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:23:55 +0000

In reply to Stacy Green. It really is. I'm sure there are many more stalking victims than we know of. And that poor woman. I can't imagine.

By: Liz

Liz — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 05:06:12 +0000

In reply to Stacy Green. It's amazing that it took a celebrity being murdered to make that against the law, isn't it? I wonder how many non-celebrities died while it wasn't a crime. As far as his wife, we are still in the dark ages in terms of intimate violence being treated seriously. I doubt anything was ever done.

By: Stacy Green

Stacy Green — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:16:05 +0000

In reply to Liz.

Liz,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I can’t imagine how frightening it must have been for you. His phone calls sound terrifying – I hope to God he was eventually arrested for beating his wife, not to mention what he did to you. I’m thankful you were able to escape him. I do remember the Rebecca Schaeffer murder. It’s sad it took such an awful murder to make stalking a crime. Thanks again for sharing.

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 02:31:59 +0000

I’m very late checking in, but I was stalked by a stranger back in the early 1980s before it was a recognized crime. The guy lived at my apartment complex, and I was the fourth woman (that we know of) that he did this to at that complex. He would pound on my door for hours at a time. Or he would call me while beating his wife, saying that if I didn’t answer the door the next time he came, I’d be his next victim. I lost my job over this because I was terrified to leave my apartment. My neighbors called the police on him, and they basically told me that unless he actually assaulted me, there was nothing they could do. It was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. I had to move out of my apartment, giving up all my deposits and buying out my lease, to get away from the stalker. People from my church came over and moved me, while several male friends made sure that the guy didn’t leave his apartment. Frightening!

I don’t believe that stalking became a crime in most states until the ’90s, after the 1989 murder of Rebecca Schaeffer, the young star of My Sister Sam.

By: beverlydiehl

beverlydiehl — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 19:25:28 +0000

Luckily, I don’t know anyone personally with murder in the family, except our SheWrites sister Kim Sisto-Robinson. I was raped at knifepoint at 19, and while not exactly a fun experience, it wasn’t that bad, all things considered. I’ve had other experiences, including a verbally abusive and occasionally physically abusive relationship, that have hurt my heart/psyche more. I also know (even one is too many) people with drunk driving deaths in the family, battering and sexual abuse of children in the family, and suicide.

One point on mental illness; while it’s true that sometimes the mentally ill person inflicts violence on others, and I don’t want to downplay the tragedy when that occurs, statistically the mentally ill are much more likely to be *victims* of violent crime than perpetrators.

Love and support to all here who’ve experienced violence on a personal level.

By: Stacy Green

Stacy Green — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 18:14:07 +0000

In reply to Jessica R. Patch.

That is very sad. No, that doesn’t justify murdering them but it helps understand the thought process. Killing the siblings is extreme. Maybe he wanted to save their torment, too.

So sorry about your cousin. Bi-polar disorder is scary. And I think the not knowing is the worse. Yet another drunk driving death. My brother was killed in a car accident, but thankfully alcohol wasn’t involved. Can only imagine the anger.

Thanks for sharing!

By: Jessica R. Patch

Jessica R. Patch — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 16:57:46 +0000

I feel like I’ve seen a lot of violence and death. Sad isn’t it? When I was in elementary school, a boy in high school came home and murdered his siblings and parents. The parents had been severely abusive (not saying that justifies murdering them) but I can’t remember why he killed the siblings. It was all over the news. When I was a freshman in college my youngest cousin (16) shot herself. I know she suffered from bi-polar disorder, but the teenagers that were there with her said it was an accident. We’ll never know the truth. And then a couple of years ago, my brother in law was killed by a drunk driver. He was coming home from work on his motorcycle. Those are just a few. Sorry about your friend. That is horrifying. 🙁

By: Stacy Green

Stacy Green — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:06:24 +0000

In reply to Cynthia Robertson. Simply awful. I don't know how one copes with something like that, and any woman who can survive mentally after an assault is inspiring. That's so sad her family didn't handle it well. I know hindsight's 20/20, but it sounds like they made a terrible situation even harder. Thanks for sharing.

By: Cynthia Robertson

Cynthia Robertson — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:46:47 +0000

My best friend was raped and left for dead when we were in junior high. Thank God she was only unconcious. She came to and found our school custodian, who called an ambulance. It totally changed our lives. She was pulled out of school and I didn’t see her again for many years. I always felt her family over-reacted in this regard, kind of treating her like it was her fault, and like she should be ashamed. Her entire family fell apart after this, parents divorcing, etc.

By: Stacy Green

Stacy Green — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 02:51:25 +0000

In reply to Cindy Brown.

Oh my goodness. I can’t imagine. You think you know a person and how you’d react, but yes, when it’s murderer in the family, that’s a whole other matter. My heart goes out to your family.

And man, if you choose to write about any of the crimes you have access to, please let me know. I think there would be some fascinating information in there.

Thanks:)