Is saddies a word? Probably not because WordPress has outlined it in red. Oh well, I like it so it’s staying.
Isn’t it funny how we can be on an emotional ride and not even realize it? How the littlest things can send us way off kilter?
Example: I finished the final book in the Delta Crossroads Series last Friday and sent it to my developmental editor. It’s an accomplishment to be sure: three books (actually four, if you count the draft of the new series I’m working on now) written in a year. A trilogy fans love is almost finished. I had no idea how that one action would spark a saddie moment. It’s time to end the series, but it’s bittersweet. I love those characters, and their voices are still rattling in my head. I’ll most certainly miss them.
And on the heels of that came the news that my mother’s kidney function is down to 15.9%. If something doesn’t change, dialysis is probably coming in the next couple of months. Now, she’s lasted longer without it (almost two years) than the doctors expected, so I can’t complain. I thought I was prepared for the news. Every time she goes to the doctor, I steel myself for it. Monday night I was fine. Tuesday sucked. I wanted to yell and scream and cry, and the worst of it is, I wanted to do those things to her. We are very close, and I don’t know what I will do without her when that time comes. And no matter how hard I try, I’m mad as hell at her for not taking care of her diabetes like she should have. She thinks she did, though, and arguing with her is a waste of precious time. It’s too late to change things now, and so we have to trudge on and hope for the best. That really doesn’t make it any easier.
So this week has been loaded with saddies. Change is all over the place and I DO NOT LIKE IT. And believe me, I know I’ve really got nothing to whine about. Things could be a lot worse. But sometimes you just have to let yourself wallow in the pity pit for a while and then start clawing back up.
I’m working on it. I’ve been editing the first draft of a new series I’m launching in May. I adore the character, and her darkness is something I love exploring. Getting into her head is a weird kind of therapy.
The point of this post is two-fold: first off, if you’re diabetic or pre-diabetic, be proactive and BELIEVE that it will kill you if you don’t make major changes. It is a horrible disease. Take care of yourself now before it’s too late. And secondly, don’t feel bad if you want to wallow around and feel sorry for whatever lousy thing is going on in your life. Sometimes a pity party is just want we need, as long as we don’t drag it out.
Thanks so much to all of you out there reading and chatting up Tin God and Skeleton’s Key. Nothing blows a saddie moment to bits like a wonderful review or Facebook comment.
How do you deal with a bout of the saddies?
